UNI & ISU Football

Despite being terribly unproductive this weekend, I have several topics to discuss, and still no chapter two of Calvin and Otis, but that will come soon. I think I just set the record for number of commas in a twenty five word sentence. First I will address the college football worlds of UNI and ISU. Then I will get into how awesome today was despite having been fairly unproductive.

Beginning with UNI, I will assume that everyone knows how UNI’s football season came to a devastating end this weekend, and will not rehash it here. First, I want to show my appreciation to the team, especially the players, for an awesome season and giving all something to cheer for and enjoy throughout the fall. Second, however I feel the need to point out that while UNI out played Richmond on Saturday, the Spiders out coached Mark Farley and his staff. This happens sometimes, you can’t always have the best coach on your sideline, especially at the FCS level of football. (If you coach too well, you get hired away by a bigger program). However, over the last few games I have noticed a few glaring failures of the UNI coaching staff. The most obvious being clock management. Ten seconds and a time out is enough time to run how many plays? Everyone together now: “TWO!!!” Anyway, no one reads this that cares about football, but if you do, and want to further discuss the season, drop me an email. But seriously, congratulations to the team for another great year.

As for Iowa State, I have nothing positive to say about Gene Chizik. The guy is a total slime ball. He comes in, we pay him over a million dollars a year to average 2.5 wins a season. Then he fires a whole bunch of assistant coaches, basically trying to keep his job. Finally, he quits to go to Auburn. I nearly threw up when I saw him talking about “being home” and how excited he was. I hope he sucks as much down there as he did in Ames. I hope Nick Saban and the rest of the SEC crush him and make him wish he had never stepped foot on a sideline. I am an Iowa State fan, but I am not this emotional about the team (especially since tickets are now $60 each). Really Gene, way to take advantage of one of the most understanding and loyal fan bases in the country. I heard nothing but positive things about the former coach, even after a 2-10 season. He builds the nations second longest losing streak and tucks tail and runs. At least he’ll be paying us back $750,000 (us being the State of Iowa). I understand wanting your dream job, I understand Iowa State isn’t it, but the team really is in greater disarray that is has been since I can remember, and now Iowa State will lose existing players and valuable time in recruiting new players. Way to screw us for another two years Gene. I hope you’re happy.

Final UNI Game

Today is UNI's semi-final game vs. the Richmond Spiders.  Now, I'm not one to make fun of a college mascot, I went to a school called the Cyclones with a giant cardinal as the mascot.   But Spiders?  Really?  It just makes me think of annoying little creatures that pose no real threat to anyone.  Unless its like that giant one we saw at Living History Farms once.  That thing was huge, it spread itself over the whole mouth of the water pitcher (think a traditional ceramic pitcher for lemonade or something).  As we all know, mascots don't really matter.  What will matter is if UNI students stop lying to themselves and the Waterloo Courier and show up for the game.  But they won't.  They'll tell themselves they don't have time to go to the game, but they do have time to go to Ice Lounge and drink themselves silly while making Beck rich.  Anyway, I'm still glad UNI has a dome because its freakin cold in Iowa.  Go PANTHERS!!